


8 Ways To Say I Love You

by strykerxlr8



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, this is an idea im working on for a tag i saw on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:21:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1194912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strykerxlr8/pseuds/strykerxlr8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 8 different ways that ' I Love You' can be said. By R. MCKINLEY </p><p>(Each chapter will be about different couples as they say - as badly as they can - 'I Love You'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Voicemail

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Spit it into his voice-mail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night’s clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for him to mention it.
> 
> \- Jordan Eberle/Taylor Hall

He was going to die. He was sure of it.

“Oh god!” Taylor groaned as he raised his head from the couch he had been passed out on.

He looked around as he raised himself up, trying to figure out where he is and why Jordan had let him drink so much. Come to think of it, where was Jordan? They usually passed out together whenever they became incredibly stupid and were too high on tough OT wins.

Suddenly a loud bang went through the quite house, interrupting his thoughts, and resulting in a sharp throbbing in his head, making him wince hard and wishing the noise maker would die a thousand deaths.

The noise maker turned out to be Ryan which led Taylor to realize he was in Ryan’s house. Ryan poked his head into the living room, grinning. The bastard. No one deserved to be this cheerful in the morning.

“Hey! You are awake!” Ryan exclaimed. Taylor wanted him crushed by falling rocks for the pain in his brain.

“Can’t you be a little bit quieter?” Taylor groaned as he got up from the couch and moved towards the kitchen in search of glorious coffee.

“Not really!” Ryan replied with a shit-eating grin, following Taylor into the kitchen. “Especially after last night. Oh man! I wonder what ebs’ reaction was like listening to it!”

Taylor frowned. Listening to what? What happened last night? He should probably ask Ryan even if he is going to get chirped for forgetting but it would be worth it to find out the latest prank the team was playing on Jordan.

“What are you talking about?” he muttered, turning to face Ryan. Ryan looked at him, laughing.

“What you going to pretend you don’t remember? It’s not every day I get to witness you confessing your drunken love to your teammate, you know.”

“Wait, what?!” Taylor shouted then instantly winced because that really hurt. “What do you mean by that?” he asked, softly this time.

Ryan was starting at him like he could visibly see Taylor’s I.Q gradually decrease in front of him.

“Don’t you remember last night? You came in so drunk muttering about ebs’ perfect everything. His hair, his sky blue eyes, even his freaking teeth! I was going to record you and post that shit but that seemed too mean, you know? I left to get a pillow for you and when I came back, you were on your phone crooning your big gay love to whoever was on the line, which I presumed was ebs cause you kept repeating Jordan softly, ugh! You two are so gross and why are you starting at me in horror?”

Every molecule in Taylor’s body had been frozen since Ryan began talking. The mantra of ‘No! Just no! No! Oh god, what have I done?! This can’t be happening!’ kept repeating in his head. Maybe it was a prank Ryan was playing on him but he looked too sincere plus Ryan was never a good liar. Oh god.

Then suddenly the dam broke and memories of the previous night rushed into his head in painfully and embarrassing sequence.

He remembered the night at the bar and how terrible and embarrassing Jordan’s drunk dancing style had been and him gazing at Jordan fondly.

He remembered watching Jordan leave with a knock-out dark blonde girl and the deep disappointment he had felt which led him to drink more.

He remembered wanting to vent at someone, left the bar and took a cab to Ryan’s place , slurring to him about how perfect Jordan’s everything was and why won’t he considered Taylor. He is good boyfriend material not matter what their teammates said.

He remembered shouting at Ryan, who kept mumbling ‘uh huh’, that he wasn’t ‘that’ ugly and why did Jordan have to be straight anyway?

The worst of all, he remembered taking his phone out and calling Jordan with the intent of shouting at him but when the voicemail picked up, Taylor had known that Jordan was probably having sex with that girl and he broken down, whispering and slurring into the phone his love for Jordan and how it had been years since he even looked at anyone else and how Jordan had ruin him for others and why can’t they be together? Why did Jordan always overlook him and find happiness with other people?

By the time he looked up with tears in his eyes, he realized that Ryan was staring at him with a pillow in his hand and a tiny smirk on his face.

“The guys so own me $500. I fucking called it!” he said, handing over the pillow to Taylor. Taylor hadn’t been really listening, too busy thinking about what he had just done and how this might affect his relationship with Jordan but right now he was too sleepy and thought he would figure it out in the morning.

“Taylor! Are you alright?” Ryan said, snapping Taylor out of his reminiscing.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, um… has Jordan called you today by any chance?” he replied. Maybe Jordan won’t have heard the voicemail and when he got to practice he would delete it from his phone.

“No, he hasn’t.”

“Oh.” Crap, Taylor thought, ducking his head from Ryan’s gaze. Jordan liked to do nothing more than prank call Ryan early in the morning since Ryan was not a morning person. For him not to call meant something must have happened.

Taylor looked back up at Ryan to find him still looking at him weirdly.  
“It’s nothing to worry about Ryan. I’ve got to go get ready for practice, thanks for letting me crash here.”

Ryan continued to look at him in that soul searching way he does at times. “Dude, you know you can talk to me anytime you want right?”

Taylor swallowed hard. He’d rather not go through talking about his unrequited love feelings right now with one of his best friends so he faked a smile and said ‘Sure, you sappy loser!” and walked away as fast as he could without looking suspicious.

***

By the time Taylor arrived at the practice, many of his teammates were already there including Jordan. Crap! He had been hoping to get there early so he could get ready before Jordan got there considering he was always one of the last people to get in. For him to have beaten Taylor into practice meant only one thing. He had heard the voicemail.

Shit.

He knew he had just destroyed the best relationship he had ever had with anyone all because he had to stupidly fall in love with his best friend and run his mouth in an alcohol induced jealous rage.

Well, his mom taught him to face the consequences of his actions and boy, was she going to be happy when she realized the shit he pulled. Jordan probably didn’t even want to see him, much less, talk to him now, so he went to another bench to get ready.

Through some innate sixth sense that only answered to Jordan’s presence made him look up from where he was tying his skates only to find Jordan staring at him with a slight frown on his face. Come to think of it, most of his teammates where staring at him too. That might have been because both of them got ready next to each other. Always. So this must be weird for them. But Taylor didn’t want to find out how much Jordan hated him so he got ready in what was probably world record breaking time and got out onto the ice.

Throughout practice, even though he tried to avoid Jordan as much as possible, it felt like Jordan kept trying to seek him out. Whether it was coincidence that they were in the same place or intentionally, he didn’t know. He just knew that he wasn’t ready for Jordan to say their friendship was over.

After practice ended, they filed back into the locker room. Taylor tried to get dressed as fast as he got ready earlier but he didn’t account for Jordan doing the same. Jordan was faster though and was waiting at the exit door as Taylor finished.

As Taylor tried to by-pass Jordan, Jordan grabbed his arm and pulled him towards an empty room. Taylor tried to struggle but fuck, Jordan was so fucking strong. He must have melted a little because it wasn’t that much of struggle for Jordan to pull him completely into the fucking room before closing the door.


	2. Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2\. Sigh it into his mouth, wedged in between teeth and tongues. Don’t even let your lips move when you say it, ever so lightly, into the air. Maybe it was just an exhalation of ecstasy.
> 
> \- Carey Price/P. K. Subban

It’s wrong.

It’s so, so wrong. He is married. To a beautiful and amazing girl.

They shouldn’t be doing this but here they are with their tongues tangled together, fighting for dominance. Moaning.

They are wedged tightly in an empty closet in the Canada house, their hands roaming all over each other, trying to pull each other closer. PK’s hand had slid under his shirt, slowly stroking his back. Oh god! It felt so good!

Carey tears his mouth from PK’s and leans his head back to rest on the wall behind him. They are both breathing hard, staring at each other and both secretly wishing they hadn’t stopped.

This isn’t the first time it has happened here in Sochi. Heck, it’s not the first time it has happened since they first met but there has always been a strong pull between them and they are both so bad at resisting that the amount of times they have had guilty yet incredible sex would shock their teammates considering one of them was married to a gorgeous woman.

The excuse they keep using ‘it will be the last time’ and ‘they just need to get it out of their systems’ was beginning to exhaust itself. They aren’t even trying to use it anymore.

One of them just drags the other into an empty room and they just never resist. It’s always worse on road trip. So much time to themselves and no one ever questions why they are missing for several hours, assuming that their friendship was weirdly close.

“We really shouldn’t keep doing this, PK.” Carey says after gaining a little control over his breathing. He saw PK’s quick flinch before he masked his expressions and lowers his head. Carey knew that PK had been feeling even guiltier than he was over the fact that Carey was married to Angie and what he had said was an equivalent to cold water been thrown over him. Selfishly wanting to see that heated desire in his eyes again he quickly continued with “…in the closet! We might get caught.”

PK looked up at him sharply, his eyes glazing over slightly. “You’re right! We should, um, we should maybe go check out your room or something. I haven’t seen your room yet, it might be different from mine! And we can watch some stuff, maybe catch up on our Russian? I don’t know! Let’s go!”

They both left the closet looking a little bit rumpled. Thank goodness no one saw them leaving together.

As they got closer to Carey’s room, he began to thrum with nervous energy. How was it that every time he was with PK, he always felt like it was their first time together all over again? He really hoped his roommate was still with the other guys in the lounge because he didn’t feel like getting cock-blocked.

When they got to the door, he slid his card in, opened it, ushered PK inside then followed behind.

“Whoa! Its looks practically like mine except – oh!” PK exclaimed when Carey turned him and then both of them around and pushed until they were against the door. He fastened his mouth against PK’s.

PK wrapped his hands and arms around his neck and shoulder, drawing him as closely as humanly possible. Carey moans and tightens his hands on PK’s hips in what he hopes

PK would feel all day tomorrow. They continue to wrestle their tongues together, biting each other’s lips and trying to make each other moan louder each time.

Pulling away, Carey drags PK close to his bed and pushes him back till he falls and descends on top of him, closing his mouth over PK again this time even harder than before.

They both groan as they begin to rub against one another, filling the room with their grunts. PK’s hands roam lower till he gets to his ass and pulls him closer. Carey whimpers into the kiss, breaking slightly to whisper as silently as he can “I love you”, then fits his mouth against the other man’s lips to whip away his shock.

But PK had frozen underneath him and Carey knew that he had to do something to ease both their panic so he pulls away and says “I’m s-sorry… I-I didn’t… I…” but then PK’s hands come up to cup his face.

“Please. Please, don’t say you are sorry” he tells Carey gently. “I love you, too Carey. Tell me you understand that.” Carey nods, with his head still in PK’s hands and his eyes filling with tears.

“Y-Yes” he chocks out. “Yes, I understand”. He smiles a little sadly before lowering his head and closing his mouth over his beautiful partner. The real love of his live.

It’s so wrong.

But it feel so, so very right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys actually like it and don't want to burn me and my laptop to the ground. Pardon for any mistakes. English isn't my first language.. Thanks :D


	3. Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3\. Buy him flowers. Buy him chocolate. Buy him a teddy bear, because that’s what every romantic comedy has taught you. Take him out to a nice restaurant where neither of you feel comfortable and spend the whole night clearing your throat and tugging at your tie. Feel like your actions are more suited to a proposal than the simple confession of something you’ve always known.
> 
> \- Alex Galchenyuk/Brendan Gallagher

Because he loved his sister, Alex has seen way more romantic comedies than a man should be willing to admit seeing. And maybe there was a reason that men shouldn’t watch romantic comedies because now, his brain’s solution on how to romance Brendan was to do every single thing his mind managed to absorb in those cheesy films.

So he did the only rational thing he could think of. He made a list.

1\. Get Bren flowers. Does he even like flowers? I think I saw him with white lilies once.  
2\. Get Bren chocolate. Be considerate of diet plan. Is he allergy to nuts? FIND OUT!  
3\. Get Bren a cuddly bear. Heaven knows he hugs people way too much. But I like him hugging me… ok, give him cuddly bear that he hugs and tell him I’m the only one allowed to hug him now.  
4\. Take Bren to fancy restaurant. It’s not like I can’t afford it. He deserves this.  
With the game plan in hand, Alex figured nothing could go wrong. How wrong he was.

***

**Step 1**

 

After finding out from Anna (who gave him more chirping than his teammates ever did) the best flower shop that sold white lilies, he went to the shop and got maybe about a dozen? He doesn’t really remember considering how clueless he looked in front of the florist who just handed him a bouquet and subsequently looked at him in a way that indicated ‘Get lost, idiot!’

He dropped the flowers in the passenger seat and drove to pick up Brendan. Seeing Brendan’s excited face when he pulled up in front of his house made him flush hard. When Brendan opened the door to get in, he pauses at the flowers on his seat.

“Oh man! Don’t tell me! You are forgot your mom’s birthday and trying to make up for it, am I right? Ha ha!” he exclaimed as he snatch the bouquet and flings himself into the seat.

Alex frowns, confused. “No, it’s not my mom’s birthday. Why would you think that?” Alex says as he pulls out of the driveway into the street.

Brendan looks over at him still laughing then replies “Because it’s the exact same thing I give to my mom anytime I do stupid stuff like forget her birthdays! You must be copying me, don’t worry, this shit gets you out of any jam!”

Well, shit.

Alex clears his throat, blushing bright red before muttering “It’s actually for you”

Brendan turns to him and goes “Huh? Dude! I can’t hear you! You gotta learn to speak louder, man! Also, why are you blushing?”

Alex clears his throat loudly again before speaking out, “I said, the flowers are actually for you. I thought you liked white lilies because I saw you with them once and then I thought maybe you would like them from me but now you just said that you were giving it to your mom and I feel so stupid and arrggh! I messed this up and just give it to me, I will throw them away…”

Brendan had been gaping at him during his rant with his hands curved protectively around the flowers.

“Oh”, he said softly. “I didn’t realize you did this for me” he continued, lovingly stroking the flowers’ petals.

“Alex, they may not have been my favorite flowers but the fact that you remember the type I was holding once and then got it for me shows how much you care so thank you”, he said before leaning in and placing a kiss on Alex’s cheek then returning to their seat, smiling softly.

 

**Step 2**

In hindsight, he probably should have realized how this would turn out if he did it but romantic comedies need to be burned to the ground for their misleading life messages.  
His stupid idea of putting heart shaped boxes of chocolate inside his boyfriend’s locker room stall was foreshadowing in itself however, he had impulsively thought that since Brendan always got to the locker room early, no one else would have noticed but with his amazing luck lately, he should have realized that on this day, everyone else including the president would get to the locker room before Brendan decides to show his face that day.

After setting everything up in a way that even an idiot would recognize was clearly from him, he went to his stall to wait for Brendan. Gagner was the first to come in where he then zeroed in on the display in Brendan’s store.

“Oh my god! Gally tell me you did this! Please, please tell me! You will both never hear the end of it and I would gladly love to have front row seat to the chirping you are going to receive!” he shouts as he takes a picture and probably sends it to everyone in his contact. Asshole!

That should have been the next warning in his mind to remove the display and just set it up at Brendan’s house or something but no! He figured that maybe it was a fluke and Brendan was just delayed for a minute.

More and more players came in, zeroed in on the display and started chirping him on his embarrassing exhibition of love.

Where was Brendan?! He screamed in his head before, as if on cue, Brendan runs in panting! Alex signs in on relief before he has a panic attack that Brendan might not like his display. This romance this was dreadful! He began to breathe hard, in fear of Brendan’s reaction and inevitable rejection.

But when he sees Brendan zero in on his stall and finds it decorated in chocolate boxes, he realizes Brendan looks confused before clearing and then looking around for Alex, finds him then practically flings himself into his lap before kissing him passionately .

Oh, wow! He should have done this ages ago if it got this reaction.

He could hear wolf whistles, catcalls and ‘get a room!’ before Brendan breaks the kiss whispering “Thank you” against Alex’s lips. Alex grins, not minding the chirping they are receiving because it’s worth it to see Brendan smile at him like this.

 

**Step 3**

Safe to say, the teddy bear situation went better than Alex imagined it would go. He showed up at Brendan’s house with the four foot blue teddy bear and Brendan all but squealed with joy.

He then looked at Alex and said the sweetest thing ever “Now I have something to cuddle with when you are not with me”. Alex groaned and immediately dragged Brendan to him and fitted his mouth to the other boy’s roughly.

After a few hours, as they both laid on the Brendan’s bed panting in exhaustion, Alex turns his head towards Brendan and says “I don’t like you hugging or cuddling with anyone else.”

Brendan was silent for a while before he replies “You are the only one I always feel safe with especially when we hug”.

It’s the closest they have ever talked about their feelings for one another. But what else do you expect from hormonal teenagers?

 

**Step 4**

This, by far, was the stupidest idea he had ever come up with in his life. The movies lied. This isn’t romantic, this is awkward as hell. They are both in suits and ties for the fanciest French restaurant they have both probably ever set foot in. They are both tugging on their ties and glancing around the overly rich people talking in awful fake accents or glancing at the $500 plates of the smallest and extremely decorated food either of them had ever seen. At least the wine was good.

He’d rather have a beer.

This romance thing was really not his forte.

A little while later, after attempting to scope every inch of the plate into his mouth because he still is hungry, Brendan looked at Alex and bluntly says “why are we doing this?”

Alex freezes before melting a little under Brendan’s questioning gaze. Blushing, he replied “Because you deserve to be treated right instead of me taking you to shitty, loud bars and diners”.

“Oh Alex, I really appreciated this but this isn’t us. We are both clearly uncomfortable in this place and I would rather be in a shitty bar with you and be comfortable with each other than trying to pretend to be someone else. I love you too much for that” Brendan says before going still and his eyes widen in panic.

Alex’s heart swells so large in his chest, he feels he might burst from happiness. Grabbing Brendan’s hand on the table before he withdraws it, then looks into his eyes and replies “I love you too, Brendan”, watching Brendan’s panic replaced by something far softer that he lets fall into a beautiful smile.

“Really?” he whispers shyly.

“Really, really” Alex answers. “Let’s get out of here”.

Brendan’s smile broadens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, some of the people that read this don't hate it too much and some of you actually like it and want me to continue.. haha! I JUST WANTED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW! DON'T HATE ME!! I will have to finish these tomorrow cause its 2:57 am here and my bed (aka my one true love) calls! 
> 
> So yeah! if you like it, please leave any comment, even if its negative comment so i can improve but please don't be too harsh.
> 
> Once again. apologies for any spelling mistakes. This isn't beta'd and English isn't my first language. cheers :D 
> 
> (my goodness, writing and imagination is really hard! how do 90k writers do it? i'm barely on 4k and my imagination is running out!!)


	4. Sleep Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4\. Whisper it into his hair in the middle of the night, after you’ve counted the space between his breaths and are certain he’s asleep. Shut your eyes quickly when he shifts toward you in askance. Maybe you were just sleep whispering.
> 
> \- Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Hockey is beautiful.

But sometimes that kind of beauty can make one sad.

At least that’s what Sid had always thought about hockey. He might have his very soul connected to the game but sometimes, that kind of passion brought about heartbreak every time that they suffered a loss an important game or worse, get knocked off in the play-offs.

He didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to talk to anyone else, he just wanted to go home but his responsibility as captain drove him to make sure everyone was ok and not blaming themselves for getting knocked off at game seven of the third series. No one should have to shoulder that kind of responsibility, so after the game was over – a gritty 4-3 finish –he made a general speech about how proud he was of them for fighting for this long and how no one should feel down cause there was always next year and that they should go home with their families.

Though he tried, his lackluster voice did nothing to convince them that they hadn’t failed as a team or that they should have won that game and moved on to the finals. But there was only so much he could do when even he was having a hard time keeping everything together, so he went to his stall and quietly got ready to leave. He didn’t even want to think about how this might be the last time this season he would have to get changed from his gear. Fuck.

Feeling someone’s gaze on him, he looked up and caught Geno’s eyes focused intently on him. Sid raised his eyebrow at Geno in silent communication asking what he wanted. Geno simply tilted his head to his side and nodded towards the exit then got up to walk out, still half dressed. Sighing, Sid got up as well to follow.

Finding an empty closet, Geno pushed Sid inside and close the door behind them. He then pulled Sid close and wrapped his arms around him, leaving Sid no other choice but to lay his head on Geno’s shoulders. He instantly relaxed against the other man.

“Sid okay?” he asked.

Sidney became silent trying to figure out a way to mask his emotion so he wouldn’t worry Geno. He settled for a “Yeah, I’m fine” reply.

He should have figured Geno wouldn’t take that bullshit answer from him when he felt him tightening his arms around Sidney and said “Sid! No lying to me! Not to me, Sid!” harshly.

And that was all it took to collapse against Geno and let him support his weight while he cried his heart out. God! He wasn’t supposed to be this weak but Geno’s strength and support was the only thing that ever made him display his emotions blatantly.

He continued to cry for a while as Geno stroked his hair softly and murmured in soothing Russian. After a while, Sid sniffed and pulled away from Geno.

“Ok, I’m feeling much better now. Thanks, G”.

“It okay, Sid. See you at home?” Geno replied, asking. And as much as Sidney didn’t want to see anyone this night, he felt he would be lost if he didn’t have Geno next to him to help ease the pain of losing.

“Yes… yeah. Um, I will meet you there later. There are some stuff I just gotta pick up from home, kay?”

Geno nodded. “Sure, Sid. See soon”. He opened the door and left.

Sidney waited for a little while with his head against the door, gathering his courage to face his teammates again before leaving. He wished the night was over.

***

Even though he had arrived at Geno’s place for about 10 minutes, he didn’t leave the car. Replays of the game kept flashing in his mind, how they could have improved if they had more time, how stupid the penalties they all took were. The stupid fights many of them got into, heck, one of their teammates had a broken leg! Why couldn’t they have been better? Why did the season have to end so badly?

He knew he was avoiding entering the house because then he would have to shave and finally accept that it’s all over. Despite their practices, despite their hard work, despite everything, they all had to go home and face their disappointments individually.

That was the moment Sid realized that he was been selfish. Geno must be worried out of his mind since he hasn’t showed up yet and Geno would also have been feeling as disappointed as he was. They didn’t have to face this alone. They had each other and that’s worth the same as having the cup raised above his head.

He left the car and moved towards the house, entered and went in search of his partner. He found him in his bedroom, laid out on the bed with his right arm over his face. Sid cleared his throat.

“Hey, Geno”, he said softly.

Geno started at the sound of his voice. “Sid! You here? Come!” he said, opening up his arms toward him. Sid more or less threw himself into his arms and settled over him. Their arms go around each other and they stayed there together in silence and before they know it, they are fast asleep.

***

In the morning, Sid opens his eyes to see that he is still tangled with Geno except this time, most of his clothes have been removed and they are both under the covers. Sid smiled at him, it was the type of selfless thing Geno would do for him to make him comfortable. God, how he loved him. He listened to the rhythm of Geno’s breathing for a minute before laying his right hand over Geno’s heart, feeling the heartbeat as well.

“I love you so much Geno. Never change” he whispered softly, reaching up to push the flop of hair on Geno’s forehead away from his face. The movement must have alerted him from his sleep because he started mumbling in Russian, pulling Sid closer to him.

Sid relaxed into it. They may have lost the cup this year but it felt like he had won something more important every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! I know the fourth one doesn't strictly follow the story line but bear with me. Its is still an experiment (in English writing and essay structuring).
> 
> Next will be kane/toews. ohh, that's gonna be difficult. 
> 
> They are such difficult people. Of course they will be difficult in fiction :D


	5. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5\. Blurt it out in the middle of an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, as clumsy as your two left feet. When time seems to freeze, hastily tack on “in that shirt” or “when you make your award-winning meatballs” or, if you are feeling particularly brave, “when we do this.” Resume dancing and pretend you don’t feel his eyes on you the rest of the night.
> 
> \- Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

In true Patrick Kane fashion, the first time he said he loved Jonny was in a bar.

It happened after one of the most successful games the Blackhawks have had the entire season. Every single person from the bus driver to the highest paid was in high spirits, screaming horrendous victory music at each other. Obnoxiously, someone put in the Chelsea dagger and not even caring, they started singing way off-key together.

Patrick was sure that they were loud enough to wake the dead but after getting 2 assists and 3 goals, he would gladly welcome the dead to join in their party. Of course, he should have realized this kind of mentality always brought out the impulsive in him however the main thought in his minds hadn’t really gone past celebrating the hell out of this victory and he was going to make sure everyone was with him in happy land.

After getting back to their hotel rooms to get ready for a night out, they all decided to visit one of the few great bar/clubs the city had to offer. Of course in most of the rookie’s and Patrick’s minds that meant only one thing – crazy dancing and shot competitions!

Even with his love and passion for dancing, it didn't really mean he was good at it. He loved to move around and constantly used it to help his hockey advance but everyone knew that he more or less trips over himself on land – though funnily enough, never on the ice.

However, he was never going to admit he has two left feet so Sharpy can go screw himself because he was a dancing revolutionist who was willing to ignore his haters so they can just watch him shake it in their faces. Although probably not, cause that would constitute giving a lap dance.

Patrick definitely ignores the voice that whispered “If it was Jonny, you would so give him more than one lap dance. For free too”. Ugh! He really hated that voice. Never mind the fact that watching Jonny was one of his favorite pastimes especially during Jonny’s adrenaline phase when he does well in a game like today where he landed 2 goals and 4 assist. And nope! Down Patrick Jr! We are not letting Jonny know what his hockey skills does to us! Although why he even bothers, he doesn’t know considering how long they have both fucking roughly whenever either or both of them have an incredible game. He could almost still feel large amount of hickeys and bruises Jonny had left on him the last time he got a hat trick. That night had been so intense, not to talk of the night they won their first Stanley cup, neither of them slept the whole night. Just bruising each other up so much for the rest of the world to acknowledge that they own each other, not that either of them would admit it because they _don’t_ do feelings. Of course, lately, it feels like Patrick might be willing to do the feelings part of whatever it was they were doing.

When they arrived at the bar, the suddenly rush of Blackhawks players was noticeable considering how loud they all were. Patrick really loved his boys especially when they got so excited over winning. At the moment, he was still hanging onto Corey who had gotten a shutout that night, with energy level going through the roof and screaming about how amazing everyone on the team was. Shawzy and Bollig had already moved out to go find seats they could start shots on. Even with his size, Patrick knew Bollig was an incredible lightweight when it came to alcohol so why he constantly gave into Shawzy was a mystery that might never be solved.

He was about to think deeper on the mystery that was Shawzy and Bollig when he felt himself been pulled roughly away from Corey, who then instantly wondered off toward their other teammates.

“Hey!” Patrick protested over the loud music before glancing the person who dared to remove him from his awesome goalie. Of course it was Jonny. It was always Jonny. He always seemed to think that manhandling Patrick was something he had the liberty to do anytime he wanted. Maybe in the bedroom, yes but Patrick didn't like it when it happened in public! Okay, maybe when Jonny arranged them to fit together through his manhandling, Patrick becomes kinda turned on from it but other times, it’s more annoying.

“Dude, I’m not your personal toy just because I’m a couple of inches shorter than you!” Patrick yelled at him, which in turn went unnoticed by Jonny who promptly replied “Would you like to dance?”

Jonathan Toews is known for his animosity against dancing and only did it whenever he had no other choice or he was been guilty tripped into it. Patrick was in so much shock, he didn’t even realize that Jonny had lead them to the dancing floor with his hands on Patrick’s waists.

Patrick was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth so he shrugged, calmed his mind and put his right around Jonny’s shoulders and his left on his biceps and followed his lead. Funny enough, Jonny was a pretty good dancer but just never wanted to do it willingly but patrick was going to enjoy the moment as much as he could cause he might never get this again.

Patrick started fingering the small curls at the nape of jonny’s head because they had started to grow back again. He loved ‘curly Jonny’ but Jonny liked to pretend he was neat so he constantly keeps it short which was a shame because it’s always nice to have something to hold onto during a blowjob. Jonny pulled Patrick closer and tucks his face into Patrick’s shoulder, causing Patrick to instantly relax against him. Soon enough, Jonny because to move his lips over Patrick’s neck, tonguing it before moving closer to his ear, placing a sharp bite in the soft lobe. Patrick gasped then moaned, tightening his hand on the back of Jonny’s head.

“Oh god, Jonny!” he whispered hoarsely, “do that again…”

Jonny immediately set to work, right there on the dance floor, mouthing patrick ear before moving down to place another sharp bite on him, this time on his neck, making Patrick gasp out again.

Without thought, he said “Ah! Jonny, I love you! Oh shit, don’t stop!”.

Jonny stiffed in his process and pulled away from Patrick. Patrick immediately amend what he said.

“I, um, I meant, that is to say that, um, what I was going to say was I love what you where, um doing. To me! On my… ahh…neck! Yes! That’s, um, what I meant!” he rambled.

Jonny was stilling looking at him strangely, searching his eyes for something, Patrick didn’t know what.

Jonny began to open his mouth in reply when Sharpy interrupts them and clapped both his hands on each of their shoulders.

“Hey! You lovebirds have had each other all night! Come on! Duncs and Seabs are about to have a shots competitions and we all know they will pay for it when they Skype their kids tomorrow, come on you losers, hurry!” Sharpy said/yells, pulling they towards the team table

Patrick caught Jonny’s eyes which seemed to say ‘We will discuss this later, don’t think you are getting away with it’.

Dammit. Why couldn't he keep his mouth shut? Now Jonny would probably want to stop what they barely had.

But for the rest of the night, Jonny never looks away in disgust or anger. In fact, Jonny barely kept his eyes of Patrick, wearing the most intense and hungry look he had ever seen on him. Patrick felt himself constantly shivering in, what, anticipation? He did know but he couldn’t really mask the desire on his face in wake of Jonny’s heated stare.

Maybe Patrick was wrong.

Maybe rather than an ending, his stupid confession might just be a new beginning for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knooooooowwww, I am so sorry! I have had tests and so much homework for the past 4 days (i have had to sneak in tumblr time - DURING CLASS!) and then there is the horrors of the Olympics, i have just crashed every single night .. so hopefully you guys are still interested and sorry i made this so so late :D
> 
> -once again, apologies for any mistakes, this is not beta'd.
> 
> -(My heart goes out to every Olympic athletes who didn't medal in these Sochi 2014 winter games. you all did your best and your countries are so incredibly proud of you. You are all golden in our hearts! )


	6. Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6\. Write him a letter in which the amount of circumnavigating and angst could rival Mr. Darcy’s. Debate where to leave it all day – on his pillow? In his coat pocket? Throw it away in frustration, conveniently leaving it face up in the trashcan, his name scrawled on the front in your sloppy handwriting. Let him wonder if you meant it.
> 
> -Danny Briere/Claude Giroux

Claude couldn't really remember when he took up writing down his thoughts. He felt that maybe it began during his draft year but pinpointing it has become impossible.

During his short time of living with Danny and his kids, he realized that his habit of jotting down random thought increased so much that he almost found himself keeping a diary. Not that anyone knew about it because he would never living that down in the locker room. He loved his teammates but they could be very insensitive sometimes.

Coincidentally, it was during those time that he began also to realize that his behavior around Danny changed into what he would have called attraction except he wasn't gay. At least he didn't think so and by the evidence of the amount of children Danny had produced, he didn't think Danny had ever had a gay thought in his head.

Of course those confusing times also lead to him writing down his confusing feelings like the ‘fifteen year old teenage girl with her first crush’ that he always suspected he was deep down inside.

Naturally, Danny knew about his weird habit. Actually, the reason why Danny knew about it was because Claude got extremely careless around Danny and constantly forgot to act normally whenever he say the guy. He left random notes in his coat, in his bed, in his trashcan, waxing bad poetry about Danny’s mouth and eyes which eventually results in Danny finding most of them and discerning Claude’s massive gay crush on him.

Claude would feel embarrassed that Danny found them but not really because it lead to them confessing their attraction to one another. In a hot flush, Claude remembered the amount of screwing they did in the house on that first day. Neither of them could move afterwards and thank goodness the kids were with Sylvie for the weekend because even exhausted, they continued on until they had to stop for food.

Though they decided to keep it casual/exclusive between them in case something went wrong, their relationship, at least to Claude, felt more solid than anything else (they even forgo condoms and if that didn't scream relationship, he didn't know what). They were so happy for so long before it all came crashing down with the buyout.

Even though they both knew it was coming, Claude still had a panic attack on the day the buyout was finalized. He had to talk for several minutes on the phone with Danny before he could calm down again. After hanging up, he wrote down on a small notebook he found for hours, describing in detail his feelings and emotions on the events of his life and how Danny’s leaving would impact him. Turns out, the impact was pretty big because during his writing therapy, he had the epiphany that made him realize he was in love. With Danny! In fact, he realized he loved both Danny and his kids. They had become his family so easily and gradually, it wasn't until he knew they could be taken away that he realized he never wanted to let them go. He also realized that he was too scared of rejection to let them know.

It had been six months since Danny had moved to Montréal and Claude missed him so much. He missed his terrible cooking, he missed his beautiful yet calming voice when he spoke in French, he missed his teasing humor, the mischievous glint in his eyes when he had to put up with Claude and the children’s’ childish behavior, his laugh, his smile, his strength... Most of all, Claude just plain missed Danny.  

Whenever either of them had a free time that correlated enough to visit each other, they took it. There was never enough time. Sure they Skype and talked on the phone (phone sex was marvelous but it didn't really compare to real sex) however, it never matched actually being with each other, next to each other or even playing together on ice.

They had only seen each other 4 times in six months. Claude had spent the whole weekend doing nothing but relearning every inch of Danny’s body and Danny never stopped touching any parts of Claude he could find, as if to reaffirm that Claude was physically next to him in Montréal.

On the day Claude had to leave, he had clutched Danny to him tighter than he should have but he didn't think Danny minded considering he was holding Claude as hard as he could. It took several minutes before either of them could withdraw from one another. They stared at each other, memorizing each other’s faces because they both knew that they wouldn't get this for a long while. Danny opened his mouth, as if to say something profound, frowned and closes it and instead pulled Claude’s mouth toward his in the most passionate kiss Claude had ever received. He moaned loud and tries to pull Danny closer to him but Danny pulls away and reminded him of his flight.

On the flight back, sitting next to an 75 year old man who just told him the saddest story he had ever heard about how he never told his true love how he felt about her before she died in an accident, Claude realized he needed to tell Danny about his feelings before it was too late. He had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, Danny felt the same about him.

So Claude writes a note. A short note. Simple yet powerful enough for Danny to know that Claude was in this completely.

_Danny,_

_You know you're right for someone when they force you to be the best version of yourself. That's how I know we're right for each other... I love you. I think I have always known I loved you ever since you smiled at me and told me my ‘skating needed a more work’. I’m laying it all out there for you and everyone to see, the ball is now in your court Danny and I hope you feel the same._

__Claude_ _

As soon as he got out of the airport, Claude rushed to post the note back to Danny. He didn't want to send it electronically, this was as personal as it was going to get. As soon as it got sent, he gave a sigh of relief.

And now he waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaaahhhh, so um, bollig and shawzy next and i love them so much cause they are the cutest! Oops, Dont tell anyone! 
> 
> Danny and Claude broke my shipping heart so this is my revenge on them :D
> 
> (Also note, Im shitty at writing love letters/notes so i might have plagiarized this from 'The Mindy Project' and i am really sorry! I love that show (everyone should see it) and that (secret) letter from Danny Castellano to Mindy was the cutest thing i ever heard and please don't sue me! )


	7. Accidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7\. Wait until something terrible has happened and you can’t not tell her anymore. Wait until she almost gets hit by a car crossing Wabash against the light and after you are done cursing at the shit-for-brains cab drivers in this city, realize you are actually just terrified of living without her. Tell her with your hands shaking.
> 
> -Brandon Bollig/ Andrew Shaw

The past two days however had tense. The trade had taken its toll on both of them. Brandon knew it was part of the game but it still hurt to be leaving his teammates. _Especially Shawzy,_ his mind supplied. His chest suddenly hurt. The fight last night with Shawzy hadn’t helped the situation.

The previous night, Shawzy had been over and was agitated the entire time, accidentally hitting things and dropping stuff all over the place, his nervous/angry energy radiating from every pore of his body. Brandon had had to push him in a chair, ordering him to be still.

“Why aren’t you more upset?” Shawzy had asked. His gaze had been intensely unyielding on Brandon.

Not wanting to break down in front of his friend, he had said in a dismissive voice “It’s part of hockey, Shawzy. It doesn’t even affect you.” He had known it was harsh but he wanted to inflict the pain he was feeling on someone else and Shawzy was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Shawzy’s eyes filled with pain and hurt. But rather than shouting at Brandon like he had expected, Shawzy quietly whispered “Fuck you, Brandon. Fuck you” and walked out the door. He hadn’t spoken to Brandon since. The hurt in Brandon’s chest intensified.

Brandon’s chest hurt worse as he walked into the United Center, as a hawk, one last time. His now ex-teammates had varying looks of pity in their eyes as they hugged him and said their goodbyes as he cleared his stall. The only one who hadn’t said anything to him was Shawzy.

Across the room, he was diligently de-suiting, pretending Brandon wasn’t on the verge of a breakdown. Brandon’s chest got worse. After they all made their way from the room, Brandon made sure he left last, wanting to take a last look at the building. Brandon realized he was really gonna miss Chicago.

As he was leaving, he noticed there were still a few people near the car park. One of them was Shawzy talking to Saader. His facial expression looked sad and he looked like he hadn’t slept the previous night. Guilt hit Brandon harder than he expected. As they both crossed the car park to get to their cars, Brandon noticed they couldn’t see the car moving towards them. He tries yelling at them but they were too far away to hear. His heart was beating faster than he had ever felt, making him freeze in fear.

Before the car got to them, Saader notices and drags Shawzy away from the road before the car collided on them. Another few inches and they would have been hit!

He saw Shawzy seemingly yelling in what Brandon presumes where curses and swears at the driver.

It was enough to snap Brandon from his frozen trance and walk towards Shawzy. He was determined to apologize to him but Shawzy must have either seen him coming or something because he quickly got in his car and drove away, leaving Brandon to stare at the back of his car.

He sees Saader make his way toward him.

“You hurt him, you know.” Saader says, looking at the retreating car. “You should try talking to him before you have to leave.”

After a pause, he says “I’m gonna miss you, man.” He gives Brandon a man hug before getting in his car and driving away.

 

*

 

Determination radiating through him, he decided to go to Shawzy’s apartment to confront him.

As he had been there multiple times, it was easy to get in. He knocked on the door and when he got no answer, he used the spare key Shawzy had given him the day they won the cup.

“What are you doing here?” he hears before he sees Shawzy on his couch. “I thought you said whatever happens to you doesn’t affect me.”

“I’m sorry, Andrew.” Brandon starts, contrite. “I was upset and I took it out on you and you wouldn’t reply to any of my calls and today I almost saw you almost get hit and possibly die and I just –I love you! I love you Andrew and I never want you to think like I don’t” he finishes in a rush.

Shawzy stares at him for a while his eyes misting over. He gets up from the couch and walks over to Brandon and frames his hands around Brandon’s face.

“I love you too Brandon,” he whispered “We’ll figure it out together.” before leaning up and placing his mouth over Brandon’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, i know... Updating is a real problem i have. Hope you like it anyway :)


	8. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8\. Say it deliberately, your tongue a springboard for every syllable. Over coffee, brushing your teeth side-by-side, as you turn off the light to go to sleep – it doesn’t matter where. Do not adorn it with extra words like “I think” or “I might.” Do not sigh heavily as if admitting it were a burden instead of the most joyous thing you’ve ever done. Look her in the eyes and pray, heart thumping wildly, that she will turn to you and say, “I love you too.”
> 
> -Everyone

**Jordan Eberle/ Taylor Hall (Pre-game)**

Jordan looked across the room at Taylor as they suited up. The season opener was starting and the excitement of playing again in front of a crowd was putting an energy into the room that practically made him itch. The only thing stopping him from jumping up and down was Taylor, who was doing his best to look composed as well which was belied by his enthusiastic manic smile.

The game was about to start. They all lined up to walk out onto the ice.

Jordan, standing behind Taylor, pulled hard on his jersey. Enough that Taylor fell back against him slightly. Before his boyfriend could right himself, Jordan whispered “I love you” into his right ear. He feels more than sees Taylor grin.

Jordan smiles for the rest of the night.

 

 

**Pk Subban/Carey Price (Coffee in bed)**

The game the previous night had been brutal on Carey. The defense had been so sloppy, making him have to stop so many pucks, his palm still twinge.  Winning by one goal was the only reason he hadn’t unleashed a whole stream of swears on his teammates and it would have been deserved cause his teammates had come over to apologize on their shitty plays.

Waking up in the morning, alone in bed without PK, was not putting him in a good mood. While swearing repeatedly in his head, he hears his door open and PK coming in, with only his boxers on, carrying two mugs of coffee. That moment, Carey swears fees his love for PK renewed.

“Morning, cowboy” PK says, handing one of the mugs to Carey. PK leans down towards Carey and says “I love you, Carey and I’m sorry for last night.”

Carey glows for the rest of the day.

 

 

**Alex Galchenyuk/Brendan Gallagher (Teeth brushing)**

Road trips can only be so much fun before they turn boring again. But since Brendan and Alex started dating, about two years ago, the _fun_ they have on road trips haven’t died down a bit. The domesticity however had risen up. It showed when they went for breakfast and ordered for each other without problems, when they got each other little presents, when they were in their apartments navigating their chores.

Brendan’s favorite part was when they got ready for bed. They could easily navigate around each other without bumping, feeling each other’s presence and being content in it. Sometimes wearing each other’s clothes to sleep.

At the moment, they were brushing their teeth, looking at each other through the mirror and giggling at the silliness of it all. During a pause between laughter, Brendan looks at Alex, with toothpaste frothing in his mouth, eyes glowing, hair messy from a shower, quaking with laughter, Brendan swears he feels his heart expand.

“I love you, you beautiful sonofabitch” Brendan says, never breaking eye contact.

Alex smiles soppily back at him. Brendan felt like the luckiest person in the world.

 

 

**Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin (In bed)**

_Game seven. The final seconds of the game. If they can score a goal, they can go into overtime. If they don’t, the flyers win the cup._

_Sidney sees Geno pass him the puck, he steadies himself to give a slap shot._

_He hit the puck._

_The puck flies._

_The puck hits the goal post. The game is over. Sidney Crosby missed._

_He can hear the celebration around him as he crumbles into himself in defeat._

Sid wakes up in a cold sweat. Thank god it was only a dream. But that doesn't stop is panic as he reaches over to grab Geno’s arm. He feels more than sees Geno wake up.

“What matter, Sid?” Geno asks, worried overlaying his voice.

“Bad dream. Flyers win cup.” Sid simply says. He feels Geno flinch.

Geno moves closer till he is wrapped around Sid. He places a soft kiss on Sid’s neck.

“Silly Sid, flyers same division. Not get to finals with us in playoffs.” Sid giggles at the joke. Geno always knew what to say to make him feel better.

“Я люблю тебя, Sid.” Another kiss was placed on him.

Sid sleeps peacefully.

 

 

**Patrick Kane / Jonathan Toews (Game loss)**

St Louis game loses are brutal. Every loss feels like losing the cup in the final minutes. Frustration and anger flows in many of the players. From what Jonny could see, Pat was taking it the hardest. As much as he would like to comfort him, Jonny knew he had others to talk to first, like crow. They pretty much left him to the blues to deal with himself in the last period.

After they were done in the arena, Jonny leaves the building and sees Pat standing in front of his car, fumbling with the keys. Jonny joins him, takes the keys away from him and orders him to the passenger seat before climbing in himself to drive. Pat stays silent the whole ride.

After pulling into the car garage of their apartment, Jonny grabs Pat’s hand to prevent him from opening the door.

“It’s not your fault Patrick. You didn’t cause us the game,” Jon says quietly. “You played phenomenally.”

“Thanks, Jonny.” Pat squeezes Jonny’s hand once and makes to leave. Jonny pulls him back in, wraps a hand around the back of his head and kisses him.

“I love you.” Jonny says, when he pulled back. He sees Pat smile for the first time that day.

 

 

**Claude Giroux/Danny Briere (Skype date)**

Since the latest trade to the avalanche, both Claude and Danny had been hectically busy. Today was the first day in weeks they had been able to see each other face to face. Unfortunately it wasn’t flesh to flesh but they would settle with whatever was available, meaning skype date.

They had been online, talking, for hours without noticing the sun had gone down. At times, they would speak for ages. Other times, just staying silent, basking in each other’s presence.

Around 10pm, Claude sees Danny yawn.

“Go to bed, old man!” Claude teases. “You have a game tomorrow!”

“Beauty before age, Claude.” Danny replies, laughing.

Their laughter dies down soon. They stare at each other for a little while more, committing each other’s face to their memory.

“I miss you, Danny.” Claude says with a soft sigh.

“I love you too, Claude.”

 

 

**Andrew Shaw/Brandon Bollig (On ice)**

Across the ice during warmup, Andrew sees Brandon. His flames jersey wrapped around his solid frame was not hard to distinguish. Heart pumping, breath going shallow, he makes his way across the ice towards his boyfriend.

With a smirk on his face, he steals the puck Brandon is playing with. They chase back and forth for a while, semi-wrestling. Soon the flames coach calls the players to him for a pre-game pep talk.

Before he leaves, Andrew pushes himself into Brandon’s face in a stance that could be considered challenging to anyone looking at them.

“We’re gonna crush you, babe.” Andrew says, with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Oh yeah?” Brandon comes back with. _Weak_ , Andrew thinks.

“Hell yeah.” he replies with instead. Brandon simply smiles at him. Andrew glides back while simultaneously mock-punching Brandon in his chest plate near his heart.

“I love you, asshole” he says quietly, so only Brandon could hear. Brandon’s smile grows wider before he turns to catch up with his new teammates.

Andrew swears he sees Brandon skates with a skip in his glide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made it! Took over 9 months of procrastination but it's done! Hope you all enjoyed it! :)

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE DONT JUDGE ME! This is the first time i every really tried to do something awesome and i have a bad feeling i am not doing that. f you guys have a comment you want to share, please do, even if it is about awful spelling mistakes cause its not beta'd, please tell me. i really want to continue this but i wont if you guys think its awful ... thanks :D
> 
> ...and this is dedicated to someone i follow on tumblr who created this fabulous idea and wanted someone to write it but i cant remember the URL and i am so sorry, cause stupid me logged off accidentally and if its you.. please tell me!! :D Thanks guys!
> 
> ***  
> I just found the link i saw on tumblr ....( http://staygold-kanerboy.tumblr.com/post/76859723240/8-ways-to-say-i-love-you-1-spit-it-into-her ) .. She is amazing!! :D Check her out!!


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